We've Officially Begun!

So the big day has finally come! Laura started her shots today which means we're REALLY in cycle. No more "As soon as...", "We're waiting for...", etc. We're actually in it! Since I'm not the one who started today, I dont have much detail to give but Laura explained it well in her blog today. For those of you who don't follow her blog as well as mine, here's a sneak peek: "I couldnt sleep very well last night, between the anxiousness and making sure im up at the right time! I was up at 5 (instead of 540) and figured, 'hey I can do this by myself' so I got everything together and followed my instructions. Needless to say, I could NOT do it by myself lol I stood there, pinched 'fat' in hand, and the syringe in the other hesitating like it was my job! ohhh goodness I dont know if it was nervousness, excitement, or what but 'me doing it' wasnt happening. I think it was just the simple fact of stabbing yourself with a needle. I mean who wouldnt hesitate? Anyhow.. I got Calvin up, he pinched and poked, called me a baby, then went back to bed. :) It wasnt bad at all..just a sore spot on the tummy." When Laura received her meds yesterday, it really hit me how close we truly are to everything that we've been waiting for. In just over a month, we could be finding out that we have another baby on the way. Laura was just saying today that she read back to our old blogs and couldnt believe how far we've come. I totally agree. Although it feels like we've waited forever, now that we're finally here it all seems surreal! And I can't help but think back to where I was two years ago. If someone had told me then where I'd be today, I'd probably have been pretty shocked, angry, and scared. After all, this kind of thing only happens in movies like "Baby Mama", right?? And I'll be honest-for awhile after everything happened I WAS all of those things. I really only started looking into surrogacy to assure myself that having more children was a possibility-to gain some sort of control over the whole situation. I've come a long way since then. Now, I realize that I really dont have any control at all. We could attempt all the cycles in the world and never succeed. It's a reality we have to face. But the good part is I'm not really afraid or angry anymore. I grew up being told that God had a plan for my life, and I can't tell you how many times I heard that after everything happened with Brynlee's birth. But the whole time, without even realizing it, I still struggled over wanting to take control of that plan. I feel so blessed to have this opportunity, which has made me analyze what's important in my life and all that I have to be thankful for. It has forced me to let go of some of that need for control in my life-it's actually a very peaceful place to be! Even if we're not successful, I'm thankful to have this experience with Thom, to meet some life changing people, to share this blog with everybody, and, most amazingly, to watch my precious little Brynlee grow up. Though it's hard to think about, I know that having none of this was almost a reality for me. So, I'm grateful. Don't get me wrong-I'm still hopeful for another baby and will definitely be sad if it doesn't happen for us(I'm still human!!). But if right here is where I'm meant to be, I'll be ok with it. I'm still a very lucky lady! Alright alright, I'll stop rambling now. This whole experience has just been such a life changer in so many ways, so I thought I'd share that with you all! In the meantime, we're very excited!! My shots should start somewhere around April 10-so soon!! As always, thoughts, prayers, and support for all of us is welcome!! Thanks for reading! :)