Baby Mac is Here to Stay!

Hey there! I promise I haven't been purposely slacking on the blog-we've just passed through a period where not too much was going on except a growing belly and a lot of counting down the days until January 25th. But I'm making up for it now...I've got lots of news to share! The biggest and best news is that Baby Mac, Laura, Kaydence, and Logan are here to stay until after the birth of the baby. They settled in on Monday and will be living on Cape Cod for the remainder of their stay. I know I mentioned this briefly in my previous blog but, for those of you who are confused (since the original plan was to deliver in GA) I will give a quick update. Shortly after we became pregnant, Laura's husband found out that he would be deployed. Since she and the kids would be moving "off post" anyways, Laura offered to move out to MA so that Thom & I could be more a part of the pregnancy and also to ensure that we would both be there for the birth. I cannot begin to explain what an amazing gift this has been for me-there is such a peace in knowing that our baby is just over 1.5 hours (instead of 25 hours) away, that I can be there for Laura and the baby when needed, and that I can finally "see" the little munchkin whenever I want to! We're 30wks along and I was finally able to feel Baby Mac move for the first time on Monday...what a wonderful feeling. I've also read that, at this point, the baby can begin to recognize his mother's voice so I'm going to have to make a point of talking/singing to Laura's belly (sorry Laura!) as often as possible. Anyways, Thom's aunt and uncle were kind enough to offer up their Cape house to Laura and the kids while they are here in MA so they will be staying in Osterville and, as long as all goes well, Baby Mac will be delivered at Cape Cod Hospital. The hospital does not have a high level NICU and therefore transfers out any complicated pregnancies/births to Boston. This made me extremely skeptical at first, especially after my birth experience with Brynlee, but I've reminded myself that I am not and never will be in control of what happens. I know that bad things can happen at "the best" hospitals and that I have to trust in God's plan for this situation, whatever it may be. It also helped that Laura and I had a bit of a "glimpse into the future" as we spent the night at Cape Cod Hospital on Wednesday night! Yep, that's right...the poor girl moved out here on Monday and, by Wednesday night, was in the hospital. I'll tell ya the LAST thing you want to hear from the woman carrying your baby is "I dont want to alarm you but...". Those are the exact words I got from Laura on Wednesday evening when she told me that she had been having terrible side pain all day and felt that something wasn't right. Of course, we haven't even seen an OB out here yet and don't have any of Laura's records from GA (since she JUST got here on Monday), so we were a bit lost on what to do/who to go to for advice. We ended up talking to an "on call" doctor from an OB office in Hyannis who told Laura that she should go to the hospital to make sure all was well. I think we ALL thought that we'd be told the pain was a muscle strain from the drive/moving and that we'd be on our way a few hours later. We were definitely suprised when Laura was hooked up to the monitor and it became clear that she was having contractions every 1-2 minutes! As she was being observed for a few hours, the contractions continued to get stronger and, since the doctor couldn't find any explanation for early contractions (deydration, infection, etc), they became concerned that she was actually in premature labor. Laura and I ended up staying over night, lots of tests were run, and Laura was given two doses of a medication called Terbutaline to stop the contractions. The doctor told us that, if the second dose did not stop the contractions completely, we would be sent into Boston for further care. This was actually pretty scary because suddenly we realized that, ready or not, this baby COULD be coming...at 29wks 6days! Luckily, the second dose of medication did the trick and the contractions pretty much stopped but, because she was still having a few contractions here and there, the doctor ordered an ultrasound Thursday morning to check the length of Laura's cervix (sorry for TMI!). If the ultrasound had shown any cervical changes (shortening), this would mean that we'd be at risk for premature labor. Thanksfully, this was not the case. The baby looked perfect (although it flipped around during all the craziness and is no longer "head down"-this is ok for now) and her cervix showed no signs of shortening. Phew! So, all in all, though the doctors said it was strange for her to be having so many contractions this early with no explanation, the contractions did not cause any physical changes which means the baby is still nice and secure for now. Finally, we were sent home and Laura was told to take it easy, drink a lot of fluids, and to come back if the contractions return and become stronger. Please keep us in your prayers that, although we're VERY anxious to meet him/her, this baby hangs in for at least another 7 weeks! Here's the cute baby belly on the monitor!

Heartbeat & contractions!

I have to say that I think God had a great plan in this whole hospital scare. Although, at first, I couldn't help but think "Seriously, God?? Have we not been through enough?", I can already see great things that have come out of this experience. First of all, it made me feel more comfortable with the hospital. I'm definitely the type of person who drives the route to work on the day before I start a new job because I like to know what I'm getting into. Well, this is no different...there is a sense of comfort in knowing what the hospital looks like, how close it is to the house, what door we'll walk into, what floor we'll be on etc when the big day comes! And, after spending the night with Laura on "observation", I feel confident in the thoroughness of the doctors and in the fact that they won't hesitate to send us to Boston if they feel they are "in over their heads". The only thing that I was not thrilled about was the way that I was treated as the "intended mother". I had to keep reminding myself that the most important thing was the safety of Laura and the baby because it was as if I didn't exist at times. Even though the providers knew the situation, I was most frequently addressed as "she" or "your friend" instead of "mom", was not considered in ANY decisions, and often stared at the midwife's butt as she turned her back to me to address only Laura about what was going on. It was a harsh reminder of the reality of surrogacy and that I may not feel/be treated like a mom until the baby is waking ME up to feed in the middle of the night. It was hurtful, to say the least, and I'm hoping that the birth experience will be different. But it was probably a good reminder that I need to keep my expectations in check so that I won't be disappointed if things don't occur as I've imagined. I have to remember that, once this is all over, I'll have that baby in my arms and will not be worried about how he/she came into this world. Most importantly, I think that God used this hospital experience to strengthen the relationship between Laura and I. Over the past two months or so, I felt a great distance between us. She may say differently...I'm not sure...but I felt it. We have had a few disagreements along the way, which are bound to happen in any gestational carrier/intended mother relationship. None of these were caused by something that either of us did wrong-I think they are just an inevitable outcome of a "high stress" relationship between two people coming from different situations. In order for a woman to become a surrogate/gestational carrier, she HAS to have had a history of smooth, complication-free pregnancies and deliveries. An agency will not even consider a woman as a candidate for surrogacy without this history. On the other hand, in order for a woman to be an intended mother (seeking a surrogate), she has likely come from a painful history of infertility, loss, or a traumatic birthing experience. Therefore, simple issues can cause incredible stress and controversy as the surrogate is likely more relaxed and the intended mother slightly neurotic. :) My reason for this rant is that I feel this difference drew a bit of a barrier between Laura and I over the past few months. We still got along and all but I just didnt' feel the closeness that I had felt in the past. I think that the recent hospital experience, in a way, "rekindled the flame" (yes, there I go sounding like we're dating again!). I feel that I regained confidence in the depth that Laura truly cares for us and the little baby that is growing in her belly. It reminded me that, even though we may not see eye to eye on small issues, she knows her body and knows when something isn't right with her or the baby. When she called me on Wednesday she told me that, though it may be nothing, her gut said that something wasn't right...and her gut was absolutely correct. It's HARD trusting somebody elses judgement when it comes to your baby (especially when its supposed to be YOUR job) but I now have complete faith that our baby is safe with Laura. And, dont get me wrong, it's not that I didn't trust her before...I just feel even more secure about the situation now. Also, seeing what Laura went through in the hospital (the pain, the pokes, the anxiety over leaving her kids) was a HUGE reminder of the incredible sacrifice that she is making for our family. Finally, the many hours Laura and I spent in the hospital, waiting and wondering what was going to happen, gave us the opportunity to catch up without all the outside distractions. So, anyways, Laura may read this and think "what the heck is she talking about??" but I'm speaking from my own heart and I truly feel that God had a plan in this experience! So, I'll leave you all with that for now...this has been a LONG entry! If you're still hanging in, thanks for reading and please continue to keep us all in your prayers! We're 30wks 2days today...T-68 days!! :)